Tuesday, July 13, 2010

lawak

Di sekolah sksr ada seorang guru yang bernama Teacher Nurul. Seperti biasa sebelum memulakan matapelajaranya, dia akan membuat ujian kecil-kecilan.lalu tanpa membuang masa dia bertanya kepada seorang murid yang bernama Puteri.

Teacher : " baiklah puteri, 1+1 berapa?
Puteri: 2 cikgu.
teacher: bagus. amirul, kalau kite menghidupkan 5 lilin, lalu kita padamkan 2 batang lilin, tinggal berapa?
amirul: 2 cikgu.
teacher: salah. kenapa kamu jawab 2 bukan 3?
amirul: iyela, kalau kita padam 2 lilin tinggal 2 sebab yang 3 lagi dah cair.
teacher: !!!!!!!!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Nyonya

Pada suatu hari ada seorang nonya datang ke K.Luntuk pergi bercuti seorang diri.Dia pun booking bilik untuk bermalam disitu.Dia menyuruh pelayan mengangkat begnya.sampai kat satu tempat je nyonya tu terkejut,lalu dia memarahi pelayan itu."Lu pikir wa mali dali kampung wa tadak tau ka hotel tu macam mana?Di sini tadak lemari,tadak katil titun".Pelayan itu pun berkata"sabar nyonya ini baru lif".

Thursday, December 24, 2009

lenka

Trouble Is A Friend lyrics
Songwriters: Kripac, Lenka; Salter, Thomas;

Trouble he will find you no matter where you go, oh oh
No matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow, oh oh
The eye of the storm or the cry in the mourn, oh oh
You're fine for a while but you start to lose control

He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart
He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!

Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe, oh oh
And no matter what I feed him he always seems to grow, oh oh
He sees what I see and he knows what I know, oh oh
So don't forget as you ease on down the road

He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart
He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh

So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm
I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!

Oh how I hate the way he makes me feel
And how I try to make him leave, I try
Oh oh, I try!

He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart
He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh

So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm
I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm
Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!
Ooo, oh ooo, ooo ahh

Monday, December 21, 2009

mengurat

Pada suatu hari seorang jejaka ingin mengurat seorang wanita yg jelita

man:assalamualaikum...hai!Em...leh berkenalan ?

lin:maaf umur skang brape?

man:semilan blas,nape?

man berkata dgn megah agar misinya berjaya.wajah man berubah apabila lin berkata....

lin:ohhh,muda lagi macam nilah panggil je saya akak sebab adik ni bawah umur.Em.....klau adik tak nak leh panggil mak cik .saye x kisah

Pukul.

Di sebuah pejabat kadi seorang isteri yg ingin minta cerai teresak-esak mengadu kepada kadi bahawa dia sering dipukul oleh suaminya sendiri.kadi pun berpaling kepada si suami......

kadi:napeawak slalu pukul isteri awak?

suami:habis tu,tuk kadi suruh saya pukul isteri orang lain ke?

kadi:???

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Taun.

seoranglelaki inggeris telah menahan sebuah teksi.

Mr.Bean:SEND ME TO TOWN

Pemandu:apa tuan sakit taun?

Mr.Bean:FASTER,FASTER PLEASE

Pemandu:apa pulak sakit taun pakai plaster

Mr.Bean:WHAT

Pemandu:tau pun sakit taun kene masuk wad

Mr.Bean:OHHH(sambil menggangukkan kepala)

cita-cita

seorang guru kelas tingkatan 2a menemuramah pelajar-pelajarnya tentang cita-cita meraka

cikgu:hari ini cikgu nak tau cita-cita kamu Izzaty awak nak jadi apa bila besar nanti?

Izzaty:saya nak jadi doktor cikgu sebab saya boleh rawat orang sakit.

cikgu:bagus awak pulak rizal?

rizal:saya nak jadi ultraman cikgu

cikgu:kenapa?

rizal:sebab saya boleh berlawan dgn monster.

rizal menunjukkan muka kerana gerun dgn renungan cikgu yg ala vempire manakala murid-murid lain ketawa.